Monday, 31 March 2014

Tanya Burr Nail Polish Collection: Review



You know those annoying phone calls you get 27636251 times a week, informing you that you may be owed thousands of pounds because of a loan you never took out ten years ago?
Yeah, them.
Well, let me introduce you to three letters very similar, and possibly even more annoying than the evils-down-phone-inducing acronym that is 'PPI'...

Ladies and gents, I am, of course, referring to 'PPN'
aka
'Pillow-Print-Nails'
The bane of my life, and the sole reason why this blog post has taken me four weeks to write.
Four.
Talk about missing the flipping boat.

Yes you guys, as I explained in my last post, I have a chronic problem involving going to bed waaay too soon after painting my nails, only to wake up with an unwanted criss-crossed pattern spoiling the sleek finish of my already, (let's not kid ourselves here) pretty poor manicure.

Let's just say it's a good job I think baba penguins are cute, 'cos there's only so much grey-brown a girl can wear on her nails when Spring is coming and the sun is starting to show itself...

Four times in a row I've worn this you guys.
Four.

Just so I can take some blumin' decent photo's of 'Penguin Chick' which aren't covered in pillow-print!
I'm a dedicated mo'fo' yo.


All ranting and 'PPN' problems aside, this nail polish is actually ridiculously exciting; umm it's by beauty queen and all round goddess Tanya Burr, I mean HELLOOOOOO?!
I've only watched her on YouTube since, well, the dawn of time her channel, and marvelled over things such as how gorgeous 'Woodwinked' eyeshadow looks on her, and how her have lips have the ability to pull off not only any colour, but make that colour look awesome in a way my non-existent top lip can't.

Realising I should stop there in fear of sounding like a crazed psycho-stalker, and reassure Tanya that if she should ever happen to come to Huddersfield, (umm, why would you not?) she shouldn't need extra security...
*Looks around shiftily.*
:|

So when I heard Tanya was bringing out her own lipgloss and nail polish range I was beyond excited!
Not gonna lie - the lipgloss not so much.
Can't be doing with the stuff, regardless of whether it would make my lips look like Tanya's.

It wasn't long before my insane hyena-like drooling became too much, and my very first Feel Unique order was placed, sending two of these gorgeous nail polish shades hurtling my way...in't back of a Royal Mail van.



'Mini Marshmallows' (avec sneaky glittered-up accent nail)

The day they came through my letter box, well...it was a good 'un.
First off I had decided on the shade 'Mini Marshmallows', because I kid you not I barely own any pink polish whatsoever! Not only that but pinky nudes are so on trend right now, it makes me twitch uncomfortably when I realise I own not a single item in this colour...
I mean it's kind of a travesty - especially for a girly girl a la moi, but somehow I just never seem to wear it?
OBVSSS, I decided this had to change, if only to stop my twitching left eye gaining newly formed and un-even wrinkles, and into my basket it went...

'Mini Marshmallows' is exactly the shade it's amazingly cute name describes - a pale, pastel pink reminiscent of, well, marshmallows (genius description there Holly, well done). It's a fairly subtle and even quite classy hue, which for pink-o-phobes like myself, is the perfect way to nod to a trend.
As a polish, I really like it; it's slightly runnier consistency allows it to be built up in thin coats, which my god is usually impossible for me!
Not gonna lie, I did initially underestimate its runniness, and blobbed it on the kitchen table.
Soz mum.

This means *ta-daaa* for once in my life my nails are relatively even, and at a slightly lower risk of PPN...
That is until you realise it's not quite opaque and therefore needs three coats, therefore the PPN risk returns*.
*Successfully demonstrated in all it's glory on the second swatch picture down on my middle finger.
Damn.
:|

I had a relatively different experience with my second, (and slightly less phobia inducing) shade, the gorgeously named 'Penguin Chick', (ah-yes I have them *cough* limited edition version, missing the 'k'...lol)
I honestly believe this shade could have been the most hideous shade of mushy pea green, and I'd have still bought it purely for its name...you go Tanya ;).
I can only describe 'Penguin Chick' as being greige; neither grey, nor brown, and neither warm, nor cool toned - but extremely interesting and unique.
Good. Cos I've not been wearing it a solid month, snm.

The consistency is somewhat thicker than 'Mini Marshmallows' and therefore more akin to what I'm used to,
 (no blobbing incidents, you'll be pleased to hear mum)
and while this means I end up applying coats thicker than your average polar bear, I at least needed less of them to achieve an opaque finish! 
Yeyyy!!

Both polishes, despite their varying consistencies, dried relatively fast, (although sadly, without the ability to withstand material of the cotton variety) and lasted roughly four-to-five days without any huge chipping, before my crazed compulsion to pick took over...enough said.
Finish-wise, I always wear a top coat to add shine and strength, but both were sleek and shiny enough, (pillow incidents aside) to wear without.

Packaging-wise, I love the square shape, as it stands out from the rest of my collection, and again I'd like to use the word 'classy', (oooh) but my god I must be weak, cos those lids just don't wanna come off?!
Is it just me?
Not only could I not get either lid off, (enter mum *and most avid reader* and a tea-towel, to the rescue) but I can't blumin' get the things back on either.
LOL.
Now they are on, they're slightly off centre, and it's only a matter of time before my obsessive compulsive subconscious insists they be removed them from my view, and therefore removed from my nail polish shelf (yes, this exists)...I may not sleep otherwise.

Note to self: Book onto extra Body Pump class this week. 
Must. Get. Stronger. 



'Penguin Chick'
Overall, for the mightily small price of £5.99 on Feel Unique (and in Superdrug I believe), I reckon you can't go wrong with these gorgeous little pots of goodness, they're aptly and well quite frankly awesomely named, and though they vary, are lovely to apply and wear...even with added texturisation, ahem.

Reet you guys, after four long weeks, I've finally finished!
Thank GAWDDD for that you know, cos in all honesty this supposed 'heatwave' ain't quite reaching Huddersfield, and the days have been as grey as my nails right now.
I blame them.
No fault of Tanya's, I just do.

I'm thinking if I switch it up for a bit of pastel pink prettiness in the form of 'Mini Marshmallows', the sunshine may re-appear and life will be awesome.
Even more fitting would be the gorgeous mint colour Tanya posted on her Twitter account...it made my hyena-like state temporarily return, and I'm <this> close to Feel Unique-ing that bad boy, and most likely several more.
The sky can be mint, right?

For now though, I'm off to bed, (PPN risk free as my nails are still greige) before my phone dares to ring, most likely with a call from a company robot in Ecuador or some shiz, trying to give me free PPI money.
(remind me why I'm complaining again?)

Maybe tomorrow night I'll unleash my daring side and sample a new, Springtime colour in a bid try and defeat the evil, nail ruining beasts that are my pillows, and return the sky to a colour I deem acceptable.

We shall see...


Sunday, 23 March 2014

OOTN: The Outfit-Repeater.


Yet again I'm about to express to you, a HEEEOOOOUUUGE blogging failure.
I'm serious.
Sack me and kick me outta the club, I am undeserving of my blogging page.
Today's post was meant to be about Tanya Burr and her new nail polishes...
However clearly, this has not happened.
I'm missing the bandwagon in quite spectacular fashion.
Again.

Today's excuse is merely that painting my nails takes time, and time is, well, hard to come by when you have delicious soup to make and nachos to devour.

Lawd knows you can't try and eat greasy, salsa-cheese laden nachos with wet nails, I wanna lick my fingers mayn!!

Anyhoo, while I've worn my pastel pink polish and taken *sort of* adequate photo's to demonstrate it's insane prettiness, I have now worn the second shade three, yes THREE times, in a row, in order to take photos, and each time have failed to do so before chipping appeared.

Clearly, despite the arrival of the Spring solstice, there still ain't enough daylight hours to satisfy me.
That, or you will have to make do with a background not containing blurred out flowers, or my mums now semi-famous chopping board.

I'm now MORE than prepared to review said polish, given that it's not been off my nails for more than a couple of hours in the last three weeks, and well, to be honest - one more application after this and I'll be holding a celebratory nail polish burning session* to relieve my boredom.

Alas, once again however, my base coat is on, and my nails are about to become the colour of a penguin baba...
For now the fourth time in a row.
Ffs.

Y'all know it will be a thorough review!
With its publishing being celebrated with the purchase of a shiny, new, and none-penguin like polish replacement...


*I do not advocate this. It's flammable y'all, and if like me you wear hairspray, just don't.


Either my mum (and most avid reader's) finger wants to get in this pic, or my house is haunted.
Fabulous.



What I wore:

Dogtooth Midi Skirt: Missguided £9.99
White Crop Top: Missguided £3.99 (also worn in burgundy the next day ha!)
Heeled Chelsea Boots: New Look £14.99 (oh em gee!)
Totally Overdone-But-Still-Gorgeous-Bloggeresque Lion Necklace: eBay £1.98

So all nail post issues aside, I do at least have a little something to offer you today, in the form of a double OOTN.
I say double, because, shamefully, I wore this outfit two nights in a row.
Albeit with a different coloured crop top and shoes.
So basically just the skirt then...

Dirty girl I am.

First off I'll give you one guess where this is from?

...

Guessed yet?

Yeah okay it's from Missguided; I am weak and cannot keep away.
In fact just seeing the link I've posted right there ^^ is making me want to scroll through the 'New In' section and drool in an unhealthy, animalistic manner at all things made of fabric.
And Scherzinger.
Scherzinger, her sexual hair, and her new clothing collection.
It's only a matter of time...

Anyhoo, back to the task at hand here, and the extremely gorgeous dogtooth midi skirt which my prying eyes couldn't resist just last week...

See, that weekend I had two social occasions to dress up for, (I knoww, check me out ey?!) and I figured that when on a budget, a skirt covered in an extremely on-trend print and costing under a tenner is the way to go, especially when it can be matched with so many different things.
(Enter Missguided's 'Sweet Deal' section, and my crop top obsession)


This particular outfit, was said skirt's outing numero uno, when I decided to pair it with a plain white crop top and a shed-load of big gold spangly stuff...which of course I NEVERRR usually do ;)
The skirt is actually amaaazing for the price, and my god it fits so well considering I had to do my usual online size gamble, (four for you Missguided, you go Missguided...they like candy canes, right?)
This crop top is actually a replacement for an identical one I bought last Summer, which I put a hole in given that it's so thin.
My advice - remember you get what you pay for with a £3.99 top; put it on gently, and for the love of god wear a white bra!



On my face...well, the less said the better.
These were taken before I realised my lips were sadly lacking in 'Lady Danger', (don't worry, this situation was rectified) and that my mums theory of adding extra highlighter to the forming boulder on my left cheek would make the camera flash disguise it, was failing miserably.

I then simply had an extra shiny boulder and uneven cheeks.
Cool.

On that note it's time for me to go - now realising I only have base coat on my nails and once again it's too late for me to apply even a single coat of nail polish without risking 'bed-sheet-print-nails'.
I swear, if I wanted textured polish I'd have bought those Barry M ones long ago!

Tanya though darling, if ever you release a textured line - I swear I'll review it quicker, it'll be a doddle for me...

And on that note Bazza M - if ever you release a bed-sheet-print textured line, be sure to send 80% of the profits my way, so I can afford to get my nails done properly, or summat.
Thanks, bye.



Monday, 17 March 2014

Seventeen Instant Glow Shimmer Brick - Gold Bronze: Review


I'm in a huff.
A proper full on mood.
That toddler you saw in ASDA having screaming ab-dabs t'other day has got nowt on me right now.
The 'Terrible Twenty-Three's' are an actual thing.
Or today they are at least...

See it's almost time for a certain monthly occurrence, and Blogger just 'decides' it was cool to like, DELETE, (or rather, refuse to save in drafts like normal for me to come back to) my half-done post.
:|

*deep breaths*

WHY?!
WHYYY, would Blogger be so inconsiderate? 
When my time is limited as it is, and my fingers are itching to blog about bronzer, WHYYY, on the eve of such a specific event in the female calendar, would Blogger be so cruel?

That post was all good as well - positive, happy and that.
As sunny as the day I took these snaps, when the blogging gods were smiling down on me and granting me some amazing natural light.
Too good to be true it seemed.
Psssssht.

Instead, you're now getting a hormone and technological incompetency induced rant which is only remaining tear and tissue free because my anger is currently being channelled into typing.

If my laptop keyboard wasn't broken before, it sure will be by the time I'm done with it.
(Aside from the letter 'c', left click, and occasionally space bar, which long since gave up on life.)

Gah.
Now where are my Doritos?
Doritos make everything better.
They're almost as good as houmous...

And bronzer.
Yes, bronzer makes EVERYTHING better.




It's been a while since I welcomed the 'Seventeen Instant Glow Shimmer Brick' into my life now. It was during a time of great despair when my old and oh so faithful bronzer looked like this:


:|
Say no more.

So anyhoo when my little 'Sgrmfn' aka Amy from 'Srslylou' reviewed this little sparkly gem of a bronzer, my drooling became too much and I had to give in...
Onto my face it went; and umm...yeah four months later I am finally here to tell y'all about it.

First of all, it has to be said - as beautiful as it looked both on Amy's blog, and in it's immensely classy packaging, (for the small price of £4.99) as it sat on the shelf in Boots, I was nervous.
I am afraid of shimmer!
Aside from the copious amounts of highlighter I like to blind you with in my OOTD images, my face is for the most part, matte, and only ever matte.
It's a miracle MAC's 'All That Glitters' has even made it past the 'swatching' stage, nevermind into my collection.
As far as bronzing goes, I really only ever use it to contour, so looking less dead is purely a bonus - and like, I seriously have no clue how, or even if you can contour with shimmer.

I'm thinking not, but I kind of still have, 'cos damn it my brush just goes to the hollows of my cheeks and doesn't know what else to do!

I needn't be so scared.
This bronzer is shimmery, but quite beautiful, and still oddly looks okay when used wrongly to contour - when the light isn't on it, it appears dark enough to give me my desired effect, and it looks good!
Word of warning:
THIS PRODUCT IS SCARILY PIGMENTED!
Use a light hand; I kid you not on it's d├ębut on my face I was left frantically blending for what seemed like hours to try and remove the excess.
I eventually gave up and accepted that my left hand side would have to be equally 'tanned' that day.

If applied properly, however, it looks really lovely, and adds a gorgeous healthy glow to your face.
I've even managed to work out how to look subtle using this, despite it's heavy pigmentation - shocking I know, but I did it. 
High Fiveee.
:)

The four shades used range from a pale, pinky bronze, (which is BEAUTIFUL to highlight, and got plenty of use on its own before I bought my long coveted MAC's 'Soft and Gentle') through gold, to a deep rusty bronze, all four of which can be used to create a few pretty amazing eye-shadow combo's. The shades are perfect in tone when blended together, neither too orange nor too muddy, and a great medium tone meaning it could be used effectively on a variety of skin tones.
Just please god if you're my skin tone or paler, use a light hand!

Wear-ability wise, I'm not blown away. While it has lasted a full day on me it hasn't been without it's flaws; a simple scratch of the cheek and you're guaranteed to have a white patch, and that ain't cool...
I imagine that this is because of its supposed 'wash off' feature, which I kind of haven't tested - I ain't a soap and water girl and reeeeally don't feel like changing, but if it helps the excessive amount which I swatched up there on my hand came off with relative ease haha...

This product also comes in a pinky toned variety, for girls who, unlike me. prefer a bit of blush - it too looks immensely gorgeous, but blush scares me even more than shimmer, so I haven't done too badly.
Baby steps, people.

Overall, for £5 I'm extremely happy - it's great looking product both in the pan and on the cheeks, and once Summer comes I'm sure I'll be giving it yet more attention.
:)

Well...as soon as I've learned how to correctly apply shimmery stuff, that is.
Bleedin' useless I am!


Right, I'm going to end this quite quickly -
With a simple statement reflecting the inconsiderateness of my laptop, it's left click button, and Blogger.

Also because I now have my Doritos but no dips, and in my current state of being this is tragic beyond comprehension.

Blogger - you are, simply, a MAN.
A man.
That is all.

Bah.






*To any of the sneaky gents who may or may not read this, (yes, I see you) I don't mean to offend - it wasn't you, just the other non-reading males ;)
Please don't leave me.




Sunday, 9 March 2014

Scandaleyes Waterproof Kohl Kajal: Nude - Review


I've got my blogger head on today.
I know, I know...
It's been a while!

Slap my wrist ladies, (and gents) but sometimes you get a little caught up, and for one reason or another blogging becomes a challenge.

You know those times though, when you face such challenges, and deep and meaningful song lyrics attract your attention, being representative of your situation and therefore inspiring you.
Well, this may explain my new-found love of a certain Bedingfield.
And no, I'm not about to run through the streets proclaiming to every man that I'd have their babies,
weird,
I am of course talking about Daniel of the Bedingfield variety, who, back in '99 wisely spoke, (sang?) about having some pretty tough stuff to overcome.

Like D.Bedderz himself,
'I gotta get through this'

He wasn't wrong.
I gotta make it you guys, I gotta make it,
Gotta make it through.

Such strong and umm, complicated lyrics have struck a chord with me deeply in recent times.
The powerful verses, in which I can only half work out what he's saying, are more than a bit brilliant to have a good rave to, and it's not too tuneful that singing along (wailing?) leaves me feeling low about my lack of talent...
All of this, of course, happens to the sweet sounds of garage music, (RIP) and therefore is doubly awesome, as well as representative of my current blogging situation.

Talking of...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS IT IS DIRE!
Forget a money tree man I just need more hours in't day!
(Although preferably not Mondays)
I mean, like whereeee do they go?

I'm almost certain someone is robbing me of time itself, and I'm also almost certain it's the evil sister of D.Bedderz, racked with jealousy and stabbing me like a voodoo doll simply because her bro makes better, and slightly less bunny boiler style music.

Should have used a garage beat then shouldn't she, innit?


So today is the day I fight back!
Fight back against life, and against bunny boiling sisters who try and take your blogging time, and against the lack of self control that meant I used this eyeliner *shudders* ...WITHOUT taking pictures of it first.
Sack me now, bbloggers.
Sack me now...




Right then let's get stuck in - imagine me, looking like some creature from the dead, having had my six hours sleep seemingly slashed to about six minutes by said evil-garage-hating sister of D.Bedderz, and very much needing a pick-up.
Just a little something to brighten up zee eyes and make me look alive, the way my 'usual' look somehow doesn't right now.
(Possibly owed to that fact that last years tan has finally faded, and my concealer has suddenly become to dark...but it's almost new and I'm saving for car insurance so screw it, I'm'a sit out in this new found fourteen degree heaven and soaaaak up dem sun rays.)

To solve my issue, I have put my hope and faith into the fair hands of Rimmel's 'Scandaleyes Waterproof Kohl Kajal' Eyeliner in 'Nude', hoping that if my waterline is bright, then maybe umm...no-one will notice the fact my concealer no longer matches my face...
:|

Okay so first impressions?
CREAMY AS ITS CREAM COLOURED NAME!
There is a reason why this line of pencils is so well loved, along with this particular shade being one of the only reasonably priced, (actually, quite ridiculously cheap at £3.99 a pop) nude pencils out there, you really are getting something of decent quality!
Boy does this go on like a dream? There's no scratching and no pulling, snagging - anything to fault the application of my new eye brightening buddy, it goes on beautifully, and it's deep pigmentation means you only need a single swipe across your waterline to cancel out the pink tones that scream 'just get me a bed, right here, now'. It makes you appear fresher and wide-eyed. 

The colour is pretty much the perfect pale nude; it's so natural looking, it definitely gives you the 'I ain't wearing nuttin' - I just look like this POW' impression, it's not too pale that you get the stark, almost white effect, and not too dark that it looks orangey - meaning it will suit most fair skin tones just fine.

The pencil is waterproof too, and you know what that means you guys?!
NO MORE WOCOES WOES!!
(Translation: No more 'Watery-Outer-Corner-of-Eye-Syndrome woes!)
Uh-huh I challenge my eyes to try and water this stuff off, 'cos I'll tell you now it ain't happening!
It's waterproof qualities are a little less obvious given that it's a nude pencil, but it definitely sticks around just fine, and on the days I've worn it I've not noticed a single speck of pinky tiredness creeping through onto my waterlines.
Eyeballs are a different story, but like I can't colour those in now can I?







Overall I blumin' love this pencil - I'm even tempted to step away from my usual L'Oreal offering when I next need a brown/black and try this one in the hope that it's waterproof-ness will combat any WOCOES on my none nude wearing days!

That is, if N.Bedderz isn't rushing round Boots in some kind of crazed rampage and stealing them all, vowing to enforce eye-watering sickness for the rest of my days, and stealing yet more of my blogging time while she's at it.

You know what I say?
SCREW HER SISTAZ (and brothers)!!

Let's dance.




Sunday, 2 March 2014

Life.

source

The sun.
The centre of your world and your universe.
Life revolves around it.

You are Earth-like.
The other aspects of your life circle around you like little moons, your family, friends, hobbies and everything you enjoy.
Sometimes in life your moons aren't as appreciated as they should be, but loyally they orbit you and you stare into the sky, commenting on their beauty, you see them daily, you love them, you visit them, earn from them, write them, they are part of you, they're important.
You mustn't forget them.

Meanwhile your sun glows beautifully, it tans you healthily and nice, it provides you with life, and in turn gives that life meaning.

You adore it.
You'd do anything for it.

Sometimes it's so beautiful you cannot even bear to look at it, thinking it is unworthy of your gaze, it is too precious and too special, it burns too brightly, but you sometimes sneak a glance.
It is blinding.
So bright you see no sun spots, no imperfections.
It is perfect.
It makes you happy, it is warm.
Summer.

After a while the Winter may come; the sun still shines on those crisp, frosty mornings.
Snow days are different and exciting, though rare, and you know your sun will always come to the rescue and melt it all away...the heat of Summer always returns and fills your world with light and beauty.
Everything grows.
The deep core of your planet is warm, it glows, it provides all of your planet with minerals and goodness, nature.
Your emotions come and go like the weather, but your faithful sun always burns the clouds away, your trusty moons make the tides rise and fall, but everything is okay, because you are attached to your sun, its gravity pulls you in.
You are with it forever.
It is stable, everlasting, life giving, it provides, it loves you, you love it, you need it, it is yours.
And you are its.

You are its.
And you can never leave it.
Gravity.

You are its.

Sometimes during Winter, the sun doesn't shine as much, you long for it to shine, you don't feel so warm any more.
The Winter can be so long at times...
You long for your sun, where is the sun?
You see it faintly through the dark clouds at times, but it is weak, unfamiliar, you don't recognise it, you try and find blankets to keep you warm instead.
You hide under them and wait for Summer...it's been so long since Summer now.

You look up at the sky, your moons are there, some of them are hiding behind the Winter clouds, you realise you haven't seen them in so long, maybe the sun was too bright?
You miss them.
They can't hear you, neither can the sun.

The sun isn't listening, it doesn't care.
Blankets.

Summer doesn't come any more. You spin once, twice, around your sun, explore it from every angle, every side, 360 degrees, you tilt on your axis time and time again, peering, searching, and waiting patiently, but something is wrong.

Your sun is changing.

Your star, once so bright and beautiful, the perfect distance from you, giving you warmth, light, life, it looks different now, it's red, angry, it's unnerving.
You're scared and you want to run away, you wish you were big and strong like Jupiter, further away, not so solid, not so breakable.
You wish to be Jupiter, but you look like Pluto. 
A cold rock, dark, distant, small, insignificant.
Demoted.
 Breakable like ice on a lake.
You realise your sun is dying, but it is dangerous.
It is growing, and it will engulf you in its flames.

You are its.

Your oceans are drying up, you still can't see your moons. They're not affecting the tides.
You don't call out to them any more, this is just a bad dream...it will go away.
The leaves haven't been on the trees for a long time, but now the trees are dying, they don't grow any more, they don't flourish.
The sun is back but it's too big, too hot, too strong.
Red. Angry. Scorching.

It has a fever, the temperature is too high, it's spreading to you, your clouds are all burned away now, and you're dangerously exposed.
Your mountains have crumbled, they eroded when the sea evaporated and washed over them one last time, like tears.
Grains of sand in a hot desert.
Not much else is left.

The red giant glows in the sky.
It isn't yours any more, you don't recognise it.
It burns you. 
You don't want it.
But you are its.
It will devour you as it falls, right before it implodes.

It's coming for you, it's growing.
It's going to smother you, it's trying, it wants you.
You want to run, you need to run.
But you're no longer spinning; trapped in blazing, searing heat.
Trapped.
You're there a lifetime; stars take a long time to burn out.
The star is hurt, it no longer recognises you either.
You look like Pluto, Pluto isn't a beautiful place, it isn't happy, nor full of life.
But still it is theirs.
Pluto still orbits the sun.

You are its.

Forever.

Or not.
There is a mountain left on your planet, it has been hiding on the dark side, just one.
It is Everest.
You yearn for the top, for the snow capped peak that will soothe your burns.
But you have to climb it.
It's so high.
You fear you will never make it.
Fear.
You fear your mountain will come into the light, and be blasted and burned to dust, you will never have another mountain.
You have to climb it. you can do it, you can do it.
You're going to get frostbite, but it is better than being burned alive.
Your heart has frostbite.
Hypothermia slowed its beats a long time ago, deep in the dead of Winter, but you no longer fear the cold - you have blankets.

Then you reach the summit.
You're frozen, tired, exhausted, hurting, but you have climbed the biggest mountain in your world, in your body, in your mind.
Simultaneously, your sun implodes.
It is not a Supernova, it was never big enough. Not as big as it thought.
Not as big as you thought.

The heat from the explosion dries your last lakes; no more tears can fall.
It melts the ice at the top of your mountain, but Everest is in tact.
Strong. Jupiter.

Calm is coming, ascending, the sky is clearing.
The moons are shining, you can touch them, you can visit them, you can see their craters, the faces in the moon.
They glow so beautifully, you realise they were there all along, they help, they bring back the tide so it rises in a non-destructive wave, washing away the residue, and you love them.
You always did.
The sky is so beautiful now.
It is full of stars, twinkling brightly from afar.
They light up your world, you never saw them before.
You notice another, a small dark star, it looks so distant now, it is a shell, a memory, you smile and nod to it in acknowledgement, but you don't want to look at it again.
You don't need to.
Its gravity cannot reach you.

Your planet has a single green shoot, it grows from the warmth of your core, the light reflected from your moons.
Your core never went cold; it powered your Everest.
It is stronger than you ever thought.

It is you.

You are not alone.
I am not alone.


This is my story, it's 2am, but I had words in my head that just had to come out.
This post might not be here long, but I wanted to share it with you...whoever else is awake at 2am, contemplating life.
Life is good :)

<3

Sunday, 16 February 2014

OOTN: Stalking Behaviour...



You guys.
I have a confession to make...

A deep, dark and extremely sinister confession.
One which will change your opinion of me *insert dramatic pause here* FOREVERRR.

I am in need of help.
My behaviour is out of control.

I'm a...
STALKER.
:|
:O
:O

I know, I know *sobs*, it's bad.
The police are probably on their way to me, blue sirens ablaze as I type these very words, and I wouldn't blame them.
I should be locked up, laptop confiscated and chained to the dirty bars of the cell which will no doubt become my home for twenty years or more, (let's be real here, this is the UK, I'd get a month max) for such a heinous crime cannot be ignored.

The victim of my stalking surely felt uneasy at my constant presence, my prying eyes fixed permanently upon their page.
My IP address listed forever in their traffic sources, lurking, waiting...
They were being watched.

But who is my victim, you ask?
Who is this poor soul, being torturously spied on like poor Bambi's mother in the hunters' shot gun viewfinder?

Their name, ladies, (and sneaky gents) is missguided.co.uk, and more specifically this page right here...






What I wore:

Jumpsuit: Missguided £37.99
Shoes: ASOS (bought on eBay) 
Necklace: eBay £1.98

It's true...it's all true.
This is my big confession.

My obsession began when out for the evening, and seeing my friend and fashion twin Chezni looking pretty damn awesome, (as per) in the most beautiful jumpsuit I have ever seen.
As soon as she uttered the words 'Missguided' in response to my 'where ever did you stumble across such beauty?' question...that was it.
See Missguided is familiar and well known territory to me; I've had many dealings and mini stalking episodes with them before, all resulting in the parting of funds from my bank account, and my items-of-clothing : number-of-coat-hangers ratio being ridiculously reduced.
Not to mention the fact that they're being stored in my brothers wardrobe, because I don't have one.
He's thrilled.

While patiently awaiting pay day, Missguided were the poor victims of my obsession, stalked almost daily, and in receipt of way too much of my attention and lusting desires, (just checking it was still in stock, of course) but alas...that day arrived, and in an almost Gollum-style incident, my precious new jumpsuit arrived.

It's like fate.
Not only did my size selection gamble pay off, (this NEVER happens) but it is just divine!
It's plain black aside from the golden detail of the detachable belt, and has a one-shoulder style which is a surprising hit!

I've not had it long and all I'll say is I'm most definitely an outfit repeater AND PROUD BABY!

I'll probably get married in it one day, uh-huh - who wants a white dress when you can wear this fiiine piece of umm, polyester?
Darn sight cheaper too ;)


On my face I wore the slightly more vamped up 'usual', given that I was venturing into the unfamiliar territory that is, 'town' on a night out...but with my new and faithful friend 'Lady Danger' on my lips.
Oh and red nails for good measure, cos after all it is the month of loveee, it matched my lipstick.

You'll be happy to know I'm now cured, (albeit temporarily I'm sure) of my Missguided stalking problem.
Speaking to you guys about it has cleansed me of my sins and I now feel relieved.
You're like my church or something.
The internet is the wall thingy we're speaking through.
#bloggism

Missguided I'm sure feel a similar type of relief, I'm no longer drooling at their jumpsuit section, in between switching tabs, longingly gazing at my online banking page and wondering just how many more seconds it is until pay day...

Until I next find something beautiful,
which I'm fully aware could be like now, so I'm choosing not to even look.
Willpower, that is.
Missguided, you're off the hook.

Sadly, the same cannot be said for Motel Rocks.
This dress has been on my radar for like a year or something ridic, and it's STILL not in the bleeding sale!
Umm, just so you know, Motel, until it is...I'll be watching you...

;)  

Sunday, 2 February 2014

MAC Mineralize Skin Finish: Soft & Gentle. Review and err...Sing-a-Long.

*psssst, press play*



I've been blinking, I've been blinking...
I can't keep my eyes off it's sparkles baby,
I've been thinking, I've been thinking,
Why can't I keep my fingers swatching? 
MSF I want you, na na...
Why can't I keep my fingers swatching? 
MSF I want you, na na...

Shines like ice, shines like ice,
Feeling like an animal with this beauty on my screen,
Flashing lights, flashing lights, 
My iPhone camera, clicking, clicking, clicking,
MSF I want you, na na...
Can't keep my eyes off those reviews,
MSF, I want you, na na...

Drunk in loveeeeeeee.

I wound up on the MAC site saying,
"How the hell have I not bought this?"
Oh baby,
Drunk in looooooooooveeeee,
Clicked it online,
Last thing I remember is me clicking 'checkout' and getting that confirmation email,
Drunk in loooooooveeee...

Clicked it online, LOVVVVVVVVVEEE, LOVEEEEEEEE
Clicked it online, LOVEEEEEEEEEEE, LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE




It happened.
After several months years of lusting, umm-ing and ahh-ing, and just plain drooling after MAC's 'Soft and Gentle' Mineralize Skinfinish, my selfish needs have finally got the better of me.
I have caved, and am now the proud owner of, well...the most beautiful piece of champagne-pinky peach goodness ever to grace my letterbox, my iPhone lense, and now ladies, (and pesky gents) my face.

MAC's 'Soft and Gentle' is, well...every bit as beautiful, stunning and gorgeous as I ever imagined it could be.
The 378364885822 blog posts I've previously read on it didn't lie.
(and given that it costs £22 I'm glad they didn't!)

I really shouldn't worry about the price, you know.
I feel I may never, ever need to purchase another highlighting product again, for as long as I shall live!
A whopping 10g of product comes encased and swirled, all marble like and purrrty, in MAC's little circular pot, and when I say I can't imagine how long it would take to even dent, I'm not joking!
I'll probably cry when it does, however...

Colour-wise, it's just dreamy!
Highlighters I've used previously have been, well, a little pale, (ironically two of the three were bronzers) and left me in severe danger of looking as though I was trying to make tribal make-up a new 'thing', with white stripes on the tops of my cheeks, (stemming from my lack of ability to know when to stop) but 'Soft and Gentle' is just slightly darker and more peach toned, meaning it's less stark and more skin tone friendly - in fact I imagine and have seen how amazing this looks on any skin tone, it's literally a gem of peachy genius!

In another amazing cure for my lack or stopping power, (human glitter-ball's never look good you guys, don't make my mistake!) 'Soft and Gentle' isn't overly glittery, if in fact at all; it's so finely milled that each tiny, shimmering particle blends seamlessly into your skin, creating a natural glow and radiance that makes the luxury price tag even more worth it, and my sun-starved February skin appear surprisingly healthy.

I use this on the tops of my cheekbones, and as an inner corner highlight on my eyes, (my new 'thing' you guys, it's bad) but it can be dusted lightly all over for a dewy effect.
Lasting power-wise, so far, so good! I've retained my glowy cheeks for the full length of my make-up wear, including a Jillian Michaels session!
Naughty I know, I'm normally so good at the gym, but like...I was too excited and couldn't bear to remove it before I got going :(
Ah well...it was a good test, right?
Worth a blemish or two...

Overall, I sense that despite only owning this a short period of time, I have now found 'the one' when it comes to highlighting products - I genuinely can't see myself venturing away from this any time soon, and equally can't wait for Summer when it can be seen in actual sunny daylight, in all its shimmering glory!

To conclude and add yet more cheese...I'm just a bit Drunk In Love.
*terrible, just terrible, I'll go hide my face in shame now, lol.*





It's on my face, LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE, LOVVVVVVVEEEE
It's on my face, LOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEE, LOVEEEEEEEEEE.

Oh Bey, you actual dream girl, you.

Yeah.
I bet she like invented 'Soft and Gentle' or something...
She probably just like sang to a tub of baby powder and it all came together to listen, beginning to sparkle the moment her perfect breath graced its surface.

Yeah, MAC.
You wish you were that good.

I imagine that Beyonce herself could and possibly does wear 'Soft and Gentle' herself, I mean, it's fit for a Queen after all...
Some crazy part of my subconscious wishes to believe I could apply this and somehow just be her, in more ways than just singing ruining her songs when I'm alone, not caring for the safety of the windows, nor the floorboards (which are definitely old and should almost certainly not have fairy elephants prancing around on them, recreating a somewhat terrifying version of 'Survivor')...

Indeed, in my dreams I choose to believe that I may have a piece of cheekbone gracing gorgeousness in common with Beyonce, and therefore am like related to her or something.
Sadly, however I'm sure Bey's cheeks are scattered with naturally occurring, pure diamond fragments, grown from her own pores...

*dons Kat Slater style cockney accent*
The Cahhhw.